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I know this is not the time to criticise as the harm has already been caused, but i will still ask: If you claim you dnt love someone, how on earth did u get involved with her, let alone put her in the family way? love should beget love and not hate or fear..something society always . 'I regret having children' In pushing the boundaries of accepted maternal response, women are challenging an explosive tabooand reframing motherhood in the process By Anne Kingston At first. The #1 app for tracking pregnancy and baby growth. Don't stay just for the kids. My girlfriend and I just broke up and she's 3 months pregnant. I too feel torn by a similar situation. My ex won't come back to me after I hurt h Ex girlfriend is pregnant with her new boyfriend months after breaking up with me. There are midnight feedings, changing diapers, rocking a screaming infant and little sleep. Girlfriend is pregnant don't know if it's mine. If I could do something different, it would be to divorce as soon as my last daughter was born. Download Preview. The Preferential Parent. Back then I loved her and I felt sorry for her because she took the decision of getting marry to me even though she didn't love me. I have 6 sisters and three brothers. NOW WHY IS IT THAT SO MANY OF US HAD MESSED UP CHILDHOOD? I want to come home from work to my son EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK, but I can't if me and the mother aren't together. I unfortunately love my ex I have tried to forgets my ex but I can't. As a woman, you get insulted for doing it, and you get insulted for not doing it. Need help, advice? He is capable of choosing to be with you and not having a child with you, or leaving if he decides he wants a child more. There are many women out here who will do this if given the chance. He just has a side I don't like. If I do something to hurt their father then im hurting my children because they love him. It tears me apart. As such, you'll need to spend time with both his child's mom and his child. Being pregnant is not a free pass for not working. That's when one of them dropped the term . 1) If you seriously just want the child, but not the mother, you know this can never happen unless you have an agreement with your girlfriend. I was not in love with the guy I got pregnant by. So here's the long story short My pregnant girlfriend hates me and keeps pushing me away! Why is it when a women gets up the duff it's all her fault? I find the really difficult and I just have idea what do. It's the kind of care for your emotions, feelings, and love. We only dated for three months before I got pregnant. sit the lady down n explain things to her and the most important thing is take very good care of your child. You could have the best partner and tons of family support. Aside from personal decision to have an unwanted relationship and questioning such question of having a baby with someone you don't want to be with, how to deal with it, we will need to be responsible. Please select a reason for escalating this post to the WTE moderators: Connect with our community members by starting a discussion. 1997-2023 BabyCenter, LLC, a Ziff Davis company. @jessi, LMFAOI like ur commentVery BLUNT and to the POINT. Ex My moving on process. Last updated on June 9, 2022 by Michelle Devani There are many things that may cause a broken heart. Sounds like she was looking for a sugar daddy and ended up getting pregnant. But that luxury comes with an expiration date, especially for women. maybe take a pre-marital class and figure out some common ground to build a relationship on Nine years ago I was mad in love with my first boyfriend. The educational health content on What To Expect is reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts to be up-to-date and in line with the latest evidence-based medical information and accepted health guidelines, including the medically reviewed What to Expect books by Heidi Murkoff. But there's something extraordinary about the energy level of a little boy. There are reasons you should know and love yourself before you love someone else that will remind you to be true to yourself. I didn't want to waste one more day of my life feeling empty and with someone I didn't even like. Your best bet might be to stay with your gf for now, bond with your child and forge a relationship with him/her. I do not know the answer to that. He pays for the stuff bc he can afford too and didn't want me working while pregnant which was fine when everything was good. Also, if it's bad now it will only get worse once the baby is here. You are in control of your life. I hated the way I felt with him. That is exactly how I feel about my life over the past 8 years - it feels like I have been sleepwalking. The guy obviously does not love the girl in question yet went ahead and had a baby with her out of wedlock. Call your old boss, call family and friends, research aid and stop telling yourself you're stuck. She actually is (5 months now), but I took all the words back (the reasons why I didn't want to be with her). The transition from being a couple to having a baby and becoming parents is an exciting, empowering, and life-changing experience. I don't feel that he is someone that I want to be with forever. The baby grew in her, she birthed it, she fed it, and she nurtured it every step of the way. I love my daughter and i care about my wife but there is no love on my end. Aim to have a better and best partner that you can have. But, learning from the past and making it as a lesson is a different story. You're sort of talking like you want a sugar daddy. dont do it I married my ex for the same reasons it was terrible for not only us but my children. SCENARIO 4: BE TRUTHFUL TO THE PREGNANT GIRLFRIEND AND LET HER ALSO HAVE SAY AS TO WHAT SHE WANTS. Friends with benefits are often just friends who you sleep with, with no emotional attachment. I honestly could not ever think of missing out on this child's growing up, especially the early stages. !I've been married for ten long miserable years to a wife I never loved. Remember, the decision you make will decide whether you will be happy or not in the near future. I am 39 soon to be 40 in 2 months. We had two kidsnice little family unit. Wear a condom, or allow some woman to own your future (and your money) for a couple decades of your life! Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. We tried to make it work. "Most women will find intercourse painful up until the three-month mark," notes Ross. She will touch you in a gentle way, kiss you softly and hug you with her heart. I want to be a father!!! They were always fighting, unhappy. To help you make the fewest blunders possible, let me give you a few tips: 1. I do feel sorry for you and the situation you are in. However I would like children just not in this circumstance you know? I JUST came here to vent not telling people I'm snobby or lazy which I've never been! But kids are smarter than you think. What kept us together is our deep friendship and and our ability to communicate. After a wonderful pregnancy I spontaneously gave birth at 29 weeks. To think about the kids. Some men can be very guarded and closed when it comes to expressing how they feel - it can almost feel like they are pulling away from you and leaves you wondering whether he's actually into you. Yes, her hormones will be out of whack. On the contrary, women have been forced to marry men they didn't love for centuries. If thats all he wants, he will be gone. I completely respect her decision on this. Be mature about it don't depend on her to be safe you be safe, if she don't comply then don't have sex! In order to fully understand why I've come to this conclusion on why men stop wanting sex with women they're in a relationship with, it's important to understand every part of the reality dose . Does he still love me? Its best to rip the band-aid off now instead of living a miserable life indefinitely. no wonder we have the type of problems we have in our communitieswe are always reacting instead of thinking.. you cant correct a mistake or problem with another people.. Add to Collection. General Baby Shower Wishes And Congratulations. It was ok if we didn't want to be together. There are many things that may cause a broken heart. It doesn't, does it? So, maybe try to establish a relationship with your baby now, stick it out for a year or so (w/o getting married), then once you've bonded w/the kid and proven you are a devoted dad, split up w/GF and file for custody. In other words, those maternal. THAT'S IT. Rejecting your man's baby mama is almost the same as rejecting your boyfriend's child and you don't want to do that. know it's right to give her the fact straight but she is just a really nice person, and I feel really **** you know! We live together, that's all I can say, we have nothing else. You decided to have a child with a man you barely know, you use him and his money (as you wrote, he can afford to pay for your car and other stuff) and you want us to praise you. Eventually I grew to love him, but not the fairy tale kind of love. HAPINESS IS AN INDIVIDUAL RESPOSIBLITY. (11 Possible Meanings), how do I deal with a break up while I am still pregnant his baby, reasons you should know and love yourself before you love someone else, How to Sweep A Cancer Man Off His Feet - Zodiac Signs, 32 Best Reasons to Date a Nurse (The No.1 Caretaker), Things You Need to Know About Dating Portuguese Man (The Sexiest Boyfriend), 35 Crazy and Undeniable Signs That She Friendzoned You, 25 Reasons Why You Should Date The Outgoing Introvert, Reasons to Choose the Girl with the Complicated Pastand How to Love Her Right. useless boy!! You could have an easy pregnancy, a quick easy delivery and a healthy happy baby. This is it, i went and made my life more complicated than it already was by adding a new factor, a child, to the equation. We only dated for three months before I got pregnant. Will the feeling of disconnection to this baby ever go away? "Once you cross that line, look for life to get easier in every way. What kind of advice do you really want, the best advice would be to take care of your baby, dont let yours and your other half (lool) silly selves to pollute her upbringing. Nobody really knows what to expect when having a baby, but it does change everything, even if you're determined it won't. Some people may view the prospect of that change as scary and they may doubt their parental skills." Sex can lead to pregnancy and I'm assuming you knew the possibility of pregnancy when you made the choice. marriage should not be a punishment or a form of contract. A woman isn't damaged after engaging in sex, having a baby, or ending a bad relationship. A Group Owner is a member that has initiated the creation of a group to connect with other members to share their journey through the same pregnancy & baby stages. Good luck. You need to discuss with him so that you won't need to face the how do I deal with a break up while I am still pregnant his baby alone. Why not abortion?? First step: Don't rush things. My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. It's that type of kindness you feel toward someone who's very close to your heart. I'm Michelle Devani and would like to take this opportunity to welcome you to my site. BE RESPOSIBLE MAKE SURE TO BE THERE FOR THE CHILD. Sucked it up and did what I had to do for my kids. U r runnin away from marriage cos u didn love her b4 ?? We work hard to share our most timely and active conversations with you. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. You will need to know on how to get a Taurus man make a decision due to your current situation. 2Face. I was done. His baby mama got engaged to some dude while pregnant calls her fiance the kid's 'daddy', despite my friend wanting to be a father to his child. form is an illusion. *I also grew up in a home where my parents were unhappy. Have you told him you're pregnant yet? Not. And which case, most would be use safe sex and if thy got pregnant, they would try for an abortion. Just not with her. Tell her at home and in private. When we found out this baby is a boy, the feeling of disconnection multiplied; I know this baby is going to be like his daddy. It is something i always knew deep down but i never acted on it. Take a time to learn from your mistake so that you won't fall into the same problem. Be strong. If you feel a message or content violates these standards and would like to request its removal please submit the following information and our moderating team will respond shortly. Third, if someone chooses to have an abortion that is their choice, not yours. When a woman loves you, she's kind to you. Be confident. I am planning to sit tight for now and make sure i am there for her and the child when it comes along. Get a job and find a place to live. THEN, MAYBE THEY BREAK UP CUZ THEY CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE. My boyfriend cheated on me with his baby mama and now she is pregnant but I still love him HELP!! Please, please do not have an abortion like somebody commented. We've been together 9. Twins & Multiples: Your Tentative Time Table, Planned c section too presumptuous??? ALL THIS TRANSLATE TO THE CHILD. What to Expect supports Group Black and its mission to increase greater diversity in media voices and media ownership. You should have your own baby feelings figured out. U dont love her bcos u havent made ur mind to do so the moment u sit down to think about this gurl as a grown man n de future, am sure u start developin love for her and am sure u liked her thats why u slept with her what makes u slept with her?? I just don't think it's right to bring a child into the world when you can see the end of the relationship. Here Are 10 Behaviors A Woman Exhibits When She's In Love 1. If you'd like to talk more you could Facebook message me my names Logan Downey this is my profile pic but in rainbow. What are the reasons for not wanting to be with her? By Simon Maybin. Man up and take care of your kid, but UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES can you let her, or her family, or your family guilt trip you into "doing the right thing" and marrying her. THIS IS THE ENVIROMENT IN THIS SITUATION. Ive just seen your reply and am unhappoy in my relationship but dont want to end it for the kids sake! Idnt also think the said mother would marry someone who wouldnt make her happy. It does make someone feel down and stressed out but, look at the big picture. I had been seeing the guy (now DH) exclusively since August of 2011. It's like I've been sleepwalking all this timeI apologize for my rumbling, i really needed to get this off my chest. We literally virtually broke up the night before! I don't know if your feelings of disconnection will pass but I sure hope they do. Find advice, support and good company (and some stuff just for fun). Eventually though, it caught up to us. Right? I would start making a game plan, create a change. Ex GIrlfriend blocked me out of the blue! Mia, the fascinating thing about postpartum depression and anxiety is that it isn't logical. The way you wrote that sounds like you think what a man wants is not as important as what a woman wants. Now she's pregnant. I got pregnant and was pressured to get married. It will not update but downgrade yourself. The educational health content on What To Expect is reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts to be up-to-date and in line with the latest evidence-based medical information and accepted health guidelines, including the medically reviewed What to Expect books by Heidi Murkoff. She has someone who depends solely on her. Having a complex relationship that involves a baby mama means you have to include the other woman in your life; whether you like it or not. He nearly killed you. Also, don't give her a dime of your money towards the baby until you find out if it's yours.