13. Enjoy your new chapter in life, where you become your own boss. Lewis, Theres never enough time to do all the nothing you want. Bill Watterson, As in all successful ventures, the foundation of a good retirement is planning. Earl Nightingale, When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch. R.C. Judge: I thought I said that I never wanted to see you in here again., Criminal: Thats what I kept telling the arresting officer, but he wouldnt listen.. JONATHAN CLEMENTS. Alan Lakein, 7 ways to bring your future into the present, Preparation for old age should begin not later than ones teens. Capitalize on what comes. Stephen Covey 47 Likes Police quotes Safety quotes Community quotes "Here's to a well-deserved and happy retirement! Some call it retirement; I call it bliss. Betty Sullivan, In retirement, I look for days off from my days off. Mason Cooley, Its paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesnt appeal to anyone. Andy Rooney, Work is the curse of the drinking classes. Oscar Wilde, The company gave me an aptitude test and I found out the work I was best suited for was retirement. Unknown, Sometimes its hard to tell if retirement is a reward for a lifetime of hard work or a punishment. Terri Guillemets, I think that retirement is the first step towards the grave. Hugh Hefner, Often when you are at the end of something, youre at the beginning of something else. Fred Rogers, Retirement is not in my vocabulary. Cars are backed up for miles. Will Rogers, "Often when you think you're at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else." Sign up for Scary Mommy's daily newsletter for more stories from the trenches. If you dont mind, it doesnt matter. Julius Sharpe"There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working." It's all lazy days from now on! Dick Van Dyke, "Choose a work that you love and you won't have to work another day." Maggie Kuhn, Sooner or later Im going to die, but Im not going to retire. 48. I did not write the law. And dont forget carefully crafted police chief retirement wishes and prayers for the man or woman at the helm of the department. Ella Harris, You have to put off being young until you can retire. An officer pulls over a man for speeding. Danielle Duckery, "You have to put off being young until you can retire." This positive song reminds people that retirement isn't a final goodbye. The police had to comb the area. My wife gets mad at me because I always take things literally. Voltaire, The question isnt at what age I want to retire, its at what income. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. 25. Need some retirement card ideas for your co-worker? We Wish You All the Best in Your Retirement! So increasingly will be peace. A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way. "Best wishes for an awesome retirement. Just buy the haystack. 42. Danny McGoorty"My retirement plan is to get thrown into a minimum security prison in Hawaii." present this to you in recognition of And what do they give us? tags: investment , investments , money , money-issues , money-management , money-quotes , moneymaking . Personalized "Retired" Travel Tumbler Check Latest Price - Jonathan Clements. The unique Forever Family Think Blue Line clip art re-emphasizes to the retiring officers that they are always part of the family forever, that fellow officers will always be there for them and support them. 32. forget that the highest appreciation is not "There is no elegant way to protect sheep from hungry wolves." -Unknown. Kitty ONeill Collins, I never had the sense that there was an end: that there was a retirement or that there was a jackpot. See more ideas about funny sayings quotes. I dont feel anything until noon. Leave the Relaxing to Her! Unknown, "Retirement: World's longest coffee break." Funny retirement teacher retirement party police sarcastic police humor funny jokes facebook status it is what it is funny facebook status jobs sarcasm smart alec. Police Retirement Quotes Funny. Also, congratulations, Boss! Law enforcement officer retirement quotes are always inspiring, our samples are uplifting and warm but you can customize your gift plaque with any quote you choose. John Bogle, Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. It is the only pleasure I have left. The best part about retirement is that you don t have to worry about getting caught for doing nothing. These quotes are perfect to wish your retiring boss, teachers, doctors and co-workers. Now, as the day dawns To the People of Barnwell County, SC. Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? Financial planning tools and services to put you on the path to the future you want, Blog You might catch something contagious. 80 Retirement Quotes - Inspirational and Funny Retirement Sayings Last updated: February 17, 2023 Retirement quotes are a fantastic way of making the retiree in your life feel recognized and appreciated. Connect with peers and experts, About Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. He had them stumped. So, he died of natural causes. So if youre looking for inspiration, youve hit the mother lode. HUMOROUS RETIREMENT QUOTES Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous When I was sixty-five - I still had pimples. They arent going to get rid of me that way. Betty White, I need to retire from retirement. Sandra Day OConnor, Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. Kitty ONeill Collins, Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. Will Rogers, A retired husband is often a wifes full-time job. Ella Harris, When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income. Chi Chi Rodriguez, I always likened retirement to falling off a cliff, and then you have to kind of brush yourself off. Steve Young, Retirement at 65 is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples." What do you call it when a prisoner takes his own mugshot? For myriad reasons, this is a sub-optimal short-term solution to what really is a long-term problem. 23. Police are usually shocked that I have a record. Custom and user added quotes with pictures. Bruce Grocott, Sometimes its hard to tell if retirement is a reward for a lifetime of hard work or a punishment. For retirement planning, you should consider other My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed. The best funny retirement wishes for coworkers and colleagues include: The days of 9-5 are past! But I am happy you get to retire You always did inspire! Why did the police arrest the turkey? "This Ain't Goodbye" by Train. The officer says, Maam, there are warnings posted up and down this highway. ), or just manually add the email addresses you'd like to keep in your contact list. There s a retired person in the premises with not a lot to do and plenty of stories to tell. I saw a fruit running from the police recently. We wish you the best retirement possible. . There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working. Once police officers join the force, they are part of a tight-knit law enforcement community. A personalized best wishes and inspirational quote is an ideal way to honor the retiring police officer who spent his or her lifetime protecting and serving the community. We tell 'em to get a life." Oscar Wilde, The company gave me an aptitude test and I found out the work I was best suited for was retirement. Present This to You as a Symbol of 40. We all hope you enjoy your retirement. Funny Cop Retirement Gift - Police Officer Retirement Poster By Adexyl $25.13 Copy of I Don't Always Enjoy Being a Retired Police Officer Poster By P4nd4store $24.69 I Don't Always Enjoy Being a Retired Police Officer Poster By P4nd4store $24.69 A Legendary Police Officer Has Retired Poster By HappyDelights $25.13 A woman was speeding down the road and was pulled over by a female police officer. Love sharing with your friends and family? The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. Jonathan Clements, I have never liked working. Unknown, "The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender." William Shakespeare, Age to me means nothing. Facts about financial success later in life! Required fields are marked *. Jeanne Moreau, Its paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesnt appeal to anyone. You will always have a home here. 36. The officer asks the driver, Where are you going at this time of night? The man replies, Im on my way to attend a lecture about alcohol abuse and its effects on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late. The officer asks, Who would give that kind of lecture at this time of night? The man says, My wife.. Happy Retirement Quotes & Sayings In this section, you'll find both inspiring and funny retirement quotes you can add to a retirement greeting card message. happy days are here at last! George Burns, "Age is just a number, but retirement is one of the greatest gifts to mankind." What are the four food groups for cops? Doug Larson, When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income. 32. 2023 NewRetirement, Inc. All rights reserved. Well done on Crossing the Bridge you now can just sit and relax. POLICE OFFICER WIFE, Personalized, Prayer. Do I lose when the police officer says papers and I say scissors? Unknown, "Retirement isn't the end of the road, but just a turn in the road." Ella Harris Before deciding to retire early. "Retirement: When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house." -Unknown "My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law." -Jerry Seinfeld "Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. Please dont go now. # funny # animation # illustration # woman # drawing # happy # fun # party # stars # day # happy # fun # celebration # work . The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. 31. We, Your Friends and Brothers, Because it runs through your jeans. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}). significant financial decision. Finally a police car comes up. All those years of working and now you can get back to acting like a child again! An officer stops a man for speeding and notices he's not wearing his required prescription glasses. You cant win until you do this. Poke fun at the retiree or help them to revel in the fact they're retiring and everyone else isn't with these funny sayings. A word of warning. Jim Bishop, Dont play too much golf. Instead of manually entering the email addresses you want to send to each and every time, you can now create your own personalized contact list that will be available for you to use any time you want to share one of our posts with your friends and family. Good Luck with Your Retirement which is going to haunt you. You may also share these fun retirement quotes. I call it bliss." Inspirational Retirement Quotes Funny Quotes About Retirement Funny Retirement Quotes For Women Maxine Retirement Quotes Funny Life Quotes Abraham Lincoln Quotes Albert Einstein Quotes Bill Gates Quotes . Gene Perret, "I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. My dogs dont even own bikes. You ll laugh or cry when you read these famous quotations about retirement. May you enjoy every minute of your retirement. 6. It is better to live rich than to die rich. So I went back to the charity shop and retrieved all her old clothes. What do you call a female police officer playing guitar? Did you hear about the two peanuts who walked through a bad neighborhood? 20 Cops Memes Humor In 2020 Cops Humor Police Humor Cop Jokes . 3. Police officers: Commemorate your coworker's strength, courage and bravery with a personalized police retirement gift. Let him come out as I do, and bark. Before you spend, earn. I wish i can also retire right now so that i don t need to call anyone boss. They serve and protect. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. 11. Soni, It is better to live rich than to die rich. Samuel Johnson, If people concentrated on the really important things in life, thered be no shortage of fishing poles. Doug Larson, As for me, except for the occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did. Robert Benchley, The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. Abe Lemons, You have to put off being young until you can retire. Unknown, There is a whole new kind of life ahead, full of experiences just waiting to happen. It's time to say goodbye, but I think goodbyes are sad, and I'd much rather say hello. All sorted from the best by our visitors. Funny retirement quotes for your boss. From the movie: Judge Dredd. Website Design, Hosting, Maintenance & SEO by WebTechs.Net. Retirement is not in my vocabulary. What does a frog use to keep away burglars? Prepare for the worst. "I'm the police, and I'm here to arrest you. 1) Retirement is the beginning of the time when you can sit back and give advice to others, even though you never followed it in your own life. What happened when 100 hares got loose on Main Street? police retirement quotes - quotes for anyone from any profession! Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. Did you hear about the guy who died when an axe fell on him? We keep a photo of you in the office just remember that you now are in your garden, drinking your coffee and we are doing your job man! They said he was a real pro for a first offender. It was mugged. There is no requirement that police stop a person who enters a police station and states that he wishes to confess a crime or a person who calls the police to offer a confession because volunteered statements of any kind are not barred by the 5th Amendment. He asked, Would it make a difference if I told you Im in the Air Force? The police officer replied, Yes, but only if you were driving an airplane.. It's when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it." Andy Rooney, I think that retirement is the first step towards the grave. Sheriff, "Retirement is wonderful. An officer sees a man exit a bar at closing time and get into his car. Your happy retirement wishes in a greeting card, email, or text are a pat on the back, a standing ovation, a hearty toast celebrating both the accomplishment and expectations that retirement represents.. Tailor your best wishes to the retiree as well as your level of relationship or appropriateness given your . ~ Ernie Harwell. There was no other cop on the beat. only and are not investment advice. 14 reasons why retirement jobs are the best! Idowu Koyenikan, Wealth for All: Living a Life of Success at the Edge of Your Ability. - Malcolm Forbes. He approaches her and asks, Are you OK? The woman replies, Yes, but how do I get to the hospital? The officer says, Just keep standing there.. Cop: Im going to follow you to the nearest police station. Me: What for? Cop: Ive forgotten the way. Tommy Cooper, Driver: No, officer, its Hi, how are you?'. "Congratulations on your retirement!". Police Quotes Police Humor Police Officer Cop Wife Police Wife Life Police Lives Matter Be My Hero Leo Love Law Enforcement which is why so few can do it well. - Gail Sheehy. When a good cop leaves the 'job' and retires to a better life, many are jealous, some are pleased and yet others, who may have already retired, wonder. We've found several retirement quotes and sayings that will fit their personality. Retirement means that you'll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. Unknown, If all the year were playing holidays, to sport would be as tedious as to work. Retirement caps a career and opens the door to long-anticipated plans and dreams. Which dinosaurs were the best policemen? If we command our wealth, we shall be rich and free. Woody Allen, I advise you to go on living solely to enrage those who are paying your annuities. Looking for humorous notes and quirky messages to write on a sweet card or to use in a speech. Others couldn't imagine not working and will retire when they die. 39. picclick.com. 59. George Burns, Age is an issue of mind over matter. Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did. 4. Dianne Nahirny, "A lot of our friends complain about their retirement. Their names are Bed and Couch. Take financial wellness into your own hands and do it yourself retirement planning: easy, Ernest Hemingway, Theres no retirement for an artist, its your way of living so theres no end to it. Why did the sheriff lock up her boyfriend? 2) Old age, fragile bones, doctor visits, medical checkups and a weak bladder - are you still looking forward to retirement? Are you a police officer? Fred Rogers, Work is the curse of the drinking classes. We go. Offer financial wellness to the people at the heart of your business. Add some lighthearted sarcasm and entertaining tidbits by drawing on famous retirement quotes and sayings from comedic characters, Marvel heroes, favorite reality stars, and more: Bowery King: "You're not very good at retiring. 10. I'm pretty jealous of you, but needless to say, I'm happy for your retirement. Sherriff, I always likened retirement to falling off a cliff, and then you have to kind of brush yourself off. The current institutionally provided retirement plans will not cover people's needs upon retirement. it has a blue light. May the wife have a happy time. Cop to perp: Did you kill this man?, Perp: No, he died of natural causes. Cop: He was shot! Perp: Right a bullet killed him. Among other things, NewRetirement Everywhere I touch it hurts.". Funny retirement sayings and quotes. When Can I Retire?, and Whats My Retirement Income. For example, some Americans start a second career during retirement. Show me a sample retirement speech! 54. Bullets are made of lead, which comes from the ground. Discover and share police retirement quotes funny. Retirement is like coming home one day and telling your wife honey i m home for good. George Foreman, People may live as much retired from the world as they like, but sooner or later they find themselves debtor or creditor to some one. Chris Pine, "Don't act your age in retirement. Chaparral Winds is a retirement facility in Surprise, Arizona offering assisted living, independent living, and memory care services. Take Us With You! Read more quotes about aging, retirement and motivation: Sedona Winds Retirement Communityoffersindependent living in Sedona, Arizona, can help! Hello Pension. Richard Thaler, Not having to worry about money is almost like not having to worry about dying. These Funny Comebacks And Insults Are What Our Minds Are Really Made Of. 62. You've obviously missed it. Fred Rogers, "For many, retirement is a time for personal growth, which becomes the path to greater freedom." Unknown, Expect the best. 10. I was arrested by the grammar police for not using the full stop correctly. Does your kid want to be a policewoman when she grows up? Get great tips for managing money in retirement, What happens if you really do run out of money in retirement, 22 smart and easy ways to boost retirement savings, 4 ways to find meaning and purpose in retirement. I'm Retired. 124 Retirement Quotes: Funny Retirement Quotes, Inspirational Retirement Quotes and More! 29. Leonard Cohen, I need to retire from retirement. The basic mission of Police is to PREVENT crime and disorder. Its only my hat that makes me look that old.. Robert Benchley, If people concentrated on the really important things in life, thered be a shortage of fishing poles. Why did the NYPD show up at the Mets game? Off the clock - for good! It is the beginning of the open highway." Its doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it. Gene Perret, The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. Unknown, You dont stop laughing when you grow old. Hello, time. Unknown, We no longer follow traditional retirement models. Oliver Wendell Holmes, The best is yet to come! Betty White. My friend was killed by a 2 ton sack of falling chickpeas. However, my alarm clock and I have several years before we can reach that point. George Burns, People ask me what Id most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. Funny Retirement Card For Men and Women, Retirement Cards For Him Or Her, Single Large 5.5 x 8.5 Happy Retirement Cards For Women, Large Retirement Card For Coworker - Karto - You've Worked 32 $849 FREE delivery Wed, Feb 15 on $25 of items shipped by Amazon If youre not sure where to start, consider a beautifully written piece with this exact occasion in mind. Before you die, give. Police retirement thank you quotes and sayings can be hard to settle on, so weve curated some wonderful options that would all look stunning as an engraving on 100 percent optical crystal. I got stopped last night by a police officer. Grammar Police Funny Sarcasm Quotes Literary T-Shirt .